People can be present for years and still be taken for granted.
They answer the calls.
They help when needed.
They remember the history.
They make themselves available.
They carry things without making a point of it.
Because they are always there, what they do starts to feel normal.
Then they stop.
Maybe they retire.
Maybe they leave a job.
Maybe they step back from a family.
Maybe a friendship ends.
Maybe a relationship comes to an end.
That is when people begin to notice what is missing.
Who used to deal with this?
Who kept everyone connected?
Who remembered the background?
Who always noticed when something was wrong?
Sometimes the answer is the person who has already gone.
This happens in construction.
An experienced person leaves and the questions start afterwards.
Why was that decision made?
Who understands this building?
Who knows the history of the problem?
The files may still be there.
The person who understood what they meant may not be.
It happens in families too.
Someone may be the person who keeps in touch with everyone, arranges visits and settles problems.
While they are doing it, nobody thinks much about it.
When they stop, the distance between people becomes obvious.
The same happens in friendships and relationships.
Someone may always be the one who calls first, makes the effort or keeps things going.
When they stop, the relationship may stop with them.
We often understand someone’s value most clearly when we can no longer rely on it.
That is the part worth thinking about.
Who in your life is carrying more than you realise?
Who keeps things moving quietly?
Who do you only notice when they are absent?
Who have you become so used to that you no longer see what they do?
People should not have to leave before they are appreciated.
Sometimes a simple conversation is enough.
Sometimes it is asking how they are.
Sometimes it is recognising the part they play.
Sometimes it is helping them carry it.
The space someone leaves may eventually be filled.
What they gave while they were there deserves to be recognised before it is gone.
Life. Construction. Legacy.
Thoughts on life through construction and the built environment.
Marlon Amele MCIOB
Founder of BuildionX
Marlon Amele | Life. Construction. Legacy. 